The Christmas Party
by nostalgiafan2
Summary: Randy Orton hosts a party at his house on Christmas Eve. Hilarity ensues as John Cena thinks about telling Candice Michelle his true feelings for her, and more! One-shot!


It was Christmas Eve, and a lot of the superstars were having a Christmas party at Randy's house. John Cena, like everyone else, was having a pretty good time, the only thing that made him nervous was the fact that Candice Michelle was there, the woman he's been in love with for years and never told her.

"Hey man, how's it goin?" Randy asked John as he approached the table John was standing at, drinking a cup of alcoholic egg nog.

"Not good man" John replied. "Candice is here and I'm actually thinking of telling her I like her".

"So?" Randy replied. "Good idea, go for it".

"No, bad idea" John replied.

"Why?" Randy asked.

"Because, I'm afraid that if I tell her then she might think less of me".

"Oh come on, that'll never happen" Randy reassured.

"It happened the time you asked kelly kelly out" John mentioned.

(Flashback) :

"Ha! You wish you slimy, scummy excuse for a human being!" Kelly said as she slapped Randy hard across the face for asking her out.

(end of flashback)

"That's besides the point" Randy said. "You and I are two completely different people, so chances are you'll have a different outcome if you ask Candice out".

"I don't know man, let me think about it" John said, taking another drink of the egg nog.

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho had already had 5 alcoholic egg nogs and 3 beers. He was completely drunk off his ass.

"Hey ladies" Chris said in an intoxicated voice as he stepped between the Bella twins. "Now, I don't want to come between you ladies... or do I?"

"In your dreams!" the Bellas said in unison as they walked away.

"Oh yeah? Well, you're a... dumb" Chris said, sticking his tounge out.

Meanwhile again, Candice was talking with her friend, Mickie.

"I don't know what to do" Candice said. "I really like John a lot, but I'm worried he may not like me back and he'll think less of me".

"Honey, John's a great guy" Mickie said. "I'm sure he likes you too, and even if he doesn't, then he's not gonna think any different of you because you asked him out".

"Thanks Mick, you're a great friend" Candice said.

As they were talking, John was pacing back and forth in the kitchen, contemplating on whether or not he should talk to Candice.

"Talk to Candice yet?" Randy asked as he suddenly entered the kitchen, scaring John half to death.

"Jesus dude, don't do that" John said.

"Sorry, so talk to Candice yet?" Randy repeated, getting more egg nog and vodka out of the fridge, mixing the two.

"Not yet" John said.

"How come?" Randy asked.

"I'm still thinking, I really want to tell her, but I feel like I can't".

"You just need to lighten up a bit, here".

Randy handed John the entire bottle of vodka.

"What the hell man?" John asked in shock.

"Just drink from it, not too much though, you don't wanna get wasted".

"Dude, i'm not drinking this" John replied, handing Randy the bottle back.

"Suit yourself" Randy said, drinking from te bottle.

"I just need some time to think" John said, leaving the kitchen and heading to a different room.

As all of this was going on, Chris was still going around, drunkinly annoying people.

"Now look" Chris told Matt Hardy. "We have a lot in common. We're guys, we're... people, we're... guys, and that's what makes us cool, know what I'm sayin?".

"Chris I suggest you go be drunk somewhere else before I twist of fate your neck off" Matt warned.

"Yeah, I need to go hit on some brauds if you know what I mean" Chris said, walking off.

John was nervously walking around the house, bumping in to people and getting them angry. He was shocked when he bumped into Candice.

"Oh, hi John" Candice said nervously.

"Um, um, um, um, uh, um ,um, h-h-h-" John nervously stuttered.

'Are you okay?" Candice asked.

John couldn't think of a reply. So he took a cup of egg nog and dumped it on his shirt.

"Ooops look at that, egg nog on my shirt, better go clean that up John said.

"Here, i'll get that for you" Candice offered, grabbing the nearest paper towels.

John darted his eyes back and forth and grabbed Big Show's drink and poured it on his own head.

"Hey man, what the hell?" Big show said.

"Sorry dude, my bad, clumsy me, I should really go clean myself up, bye!" John quickly said as he walked away.

Candice sighed.

"What's wrong?" Mickie asked her friend, noticing something was wrong.

"Its John" Candice explained. "I tried to talk to him but he just walked away. I think he doesn't like me".

"Oh Candice, don't say that, i'm sure there's some reason he just up and left like that"

"I sure hope so. Because if I were to get only one Christmas gift this year, it would be John".

"Aww, that's so sweet" Mickie said, hugging Candice.

John went upstairs to go into the bathroom to clean himself up. When he opened the door, he saw Chris puking in the toilet.

'Hey, can't a drunk man puke his guts out in privacy?" Chris asked.

"John shut the door and headed for the second of the three bathrooms. When he opened the second door, he saw the Bellas making out with Carlito and Primo.

"We're busy in here!" the Bellas shouted in unison as Carlito and Primo shouted in spanish.

John closed the door and headed towards the last bathroom. When he opened this door, he was relieved to see it empty. He walked in and shut the door behind him. He got himself cleaned up and began to think.

"What am I gonna do?" John asked himself. "If I don't tell Candice how I feel, I'll be spending the rest of my life wondering "what if", but if I do tell her, she might hate me and never speak to me again. God damn I wish I knew what to do".

Suddenly, an idea, albeit a very weak one, came to John.

"I'll flip a coin" John told himself.

John took a coin out of his pocket.

"Heads I tell her, tails I don't".

John flipped the coin. But unfortunately, it landed in the toilet.

"You gotta be shittin me!" John yelled. "That was my only decision maker! Son of a bitch!".

John suddenly heard a sound coming from the window. He opened it up and saw Santa Claus, holding on to the ledge.

"Who the hell are you?" John asked.

"I'm Santa Claus" he replied.

"Yeah, and i'm the Easter Bunny" John replied.

"You're name is John Cena, when you were 7 years old you wanted s G.I Joe" Santa replied.

"Holly hell!" John exclaimed. "You are Santa, hold on,i'll help you in"

John took Santa's hands and pulled him through the window into the bathroom.

"So, Santa, what brings you here, and on the window ledge?" John asked.

"I was just dropping by like I do every house, whether it has children or not" Santa replied. "I was on the window ledge because there was a fire going in the fireplace, and I didn't want to come down the chimney and burn my ass".

"Oh, cool" John said.

"What's wrong?" Santa asked, noticing a hint of sadness in John's voice.

"Oh its nothin, there's just this girl that I work with who I'm in love with. The only problem is- I don't want to tell her because I'm afraid she may not like me back and that she'll hate me".

"Well soon, that does sound like a bit of a problem. But you just need to do what you believe in your heart is right. If you tell her and she doesn't like you and decides she hates you simply because of that, then she probably isn't good for you anyways".

"Wow, thanks Santa, you're right, i'm gonna tell her I like her and that's final! You must be a romantic guy or something".

"Me?" Santa asked with a chuckle. "No no, I've cheated on Mrs. Claus many countless times".

"Well anyway, thanks Santa" John thanked. "You're a cool dude, good luck with the rest of the night"

"Good luck banging Candice!" Santa said as John left the room.

Santa looked around and made sure John was gone. He shut the door and pulled out a bag of weed out of his hat. He put some in some toilet paper, rolled it up into a joint, lit it and began to smoke.

"Happy highlodays" Sants said to himself as he took puffs from the drug.

John ran through the hall, pushing a crowd of people out of his way, and walked up to Candice.

"Hey" he said to her.

"Hey" she greeted back.

"Listen Candice, there's something I've been meaning to tell you- I love you, a lot"

"Really?" Candice asked in shock.

"Yeah, now, I know you probably don't feel the same way about me, and that's perfectly fine, i just needed to-

"I love you too" Candice replied.

"I just hope we can still be- wait, what did you say?" John asked.

"I love you too" Candice repeated happily.

"Hey everyone!" Chris called out. "This next song I'm gonna sing, is called "Bingle Jells", or somethin like that!".

"Really? You- you really love me back?" John asked, ignoring Chris' drunken singing in the background.

"Yes, since the first time I laid eyes on you" Candice replied as Chris' drunken singing continued.

"I've loved you since the day I laid eyes on you, too" John said. "I can't tell you how much of a relief it is to know you feel the exact same way about me, its jusy wonderful".

"So what did you ask for for Christmas?" Candice asked.

"One thing, and I just recieved it" John said. "How about you?".

"The same thing" Candice said with a smile.

"Alright! Let's hear it for the happy couple!" Chris yelled. "This next song, is called-

Before Chris could finish speaking, he fell face first onto the ground and passed out right there.

"Hey, where's Randy?" Candice asked.

"I don't know, I haven't seen him in a while tonight" John replied.

What they didn't know, was that Randy was now in the bathroom, smoking the green stuff with Santa.

"Dude, I think that you are amazing" Randy said, completely stoned. "I mean, I mean, I mean, all those reindeer, and you just like, make them all fly and stuff while you give free stuff to kids, just friggin amazing".

"You gonna bogart that thing?" Santa asked, referring to the joint.

Randy handed it to him and talked some more.

Meanwhile, Candice and John were slow dancing to a beautiful song.

"Its only Christmas Eve, and this is already the best Christmas of my life" Candice said.

"I couldn't agree more if I tried" John said in agreement.

"Merry Christmas babe" Candice said, kissing John.

"Merry Christmas" John replied as they continued to slowly dance.

Thanks for reading! And I hope you all have a great Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa!!!


End file.
